Baggage & Demons - Vusi Thembekwayo

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Vusi Thembekwayo 10 April 2019

Most people are not keen on the exercise of introspecting. The prospect of look into the deep recesses of emotions and understanding your internal drivers is not quite as en-vogue as a piece on “how to raise capital” say. It is seen as wimpish and weak-kneed. 

This piece is a reflective piece.

My most intense moments of growth and development as a father, leader & servant of my maker all collide at the altar of reflection and self-introspection.

But rather than look within, we shut the door and MOVE.

The world is constant motion: Our planet is spinning on its axis as you read this, with the universe constantly re-adjusting itself to optimise chances of life and all this while the other planets in our milky way are furiously jostling for position at poll to maximise chances of advanced life in their own atmosphere.

Everything is moving.

So then, the natural human disposition to change is motion. Human beings are either constantly getting in or out of something. The next job, the next relationship, the next interview, the next date. Constantly in the struggle of “next”. What we miss though is the opportunity to deal cleanly and clearly with the reasons for the ending of the old before we begin what is new.

Life will continue to mirror you, your hopes, your doubts and your fears until you understand the language of life’s mirror, confront — in equal measure — its truth & lies and bare the authenticity of the underlying message: you are whatever you believe yourself to be.

Most of us start relationship never having fully cleansed ourselves of the failings of our past encounters & our fears of repeat offences. So we infer the character of those left to those now encountered. We find offence in what is not offensive, draw conclusions in what is not conclusive and act in response to a statement that has not yet been made.

In my very first business venture, I had a business partner who couldn’t separate company funds from personal wants. When I uncovered the dire state of finances in the business the damage was too deep and the business no-longer able to be rescued. I had slaved away for close on 8months of my life, working 16hour days and living like a pauper to create the value in the business whilst my partner was enjoying the fruits of my efforts.

That experience is in part the reason why I structure my contracts the way I do. It is in part the reason why I don’t prefer equity business partners but rather joint-venture stints. It is in part the reason why I am ruthlessly cautious of choosing with whom it is I work, for what purpose and how long.

The truth is that whilst that business ended over 12years ago, it still shapes me. And so it should. I would be a fool not to have learned from that experience.

Life teaches you the lesson until you choose to learn it.

We are all dealing with demons. 
We all have baggage that we carry into every single encounter, every relationship & every moment. What is required is for you to be aware that you don’t walk alone, but rather that your experiences shape and follow you.

… I stepped out of a conference call to pen this piece. It was weighing heavily on my mind.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programme.